“Faced My Fears In Portland” Released


If you’re an Amazon Kindle e-book reader my book “FACED MY FEARS IN PORTLAND’  is now on sale. Amazon will have the paperback on sale shortly. I’ll send out updates to keep you informed.

An Amazon account is very easy to set up:


If you shop for e-books on Barnes & Noble, KOBO, or i-bookstore the book will be sold there in a few days. I’ll send out an update.

Price is an affordable $6.99.

At the end of OCTOBER , the book will have a “soft launch” at which time I’ll offer freebies and giveaways!

Thank you for your continued support. I wish all of you a Happy Fall!

Release of “Faced My Fears In Portland”


In a few days “FACED MY FEARS IN PORTLAND’  will be on sale. I’ll post here and on social media the exact day.

You’ll be able to find the e-book on sale immediately on:


Amazon will also have the paperback on sale soon after, I’ll send out plenty of updates to keep you informed.

If you shop for books on Barnes & Noble, KOBO, or i-bookstore the book will be sold there hopefully within the week. Will also send out updates on these stores. Shortly after all book outlets will have access to the book.

Price is –  $6.99.

Around OCTOBER 15TH, the book will have a “soft launch” at which time I’ll offer freebies and giveaways!

Thank you for your support. I wish all of you a Happy Fall!


Book Battle Almost Over

Hi All –

Thank you for your patience while I worked feverishly on writing and learning to set up a publishing company. “Faced My Fears In Portland” will be published shortly by Shiloah Shield Press.

Most of my blog followers are not familiar with how a book is published or marketed, so I’ll share some things with you. Right before the book is published on Amazon, I’ll send emails out and share links on this blog for you click and check out the book. I’ll advertise on social media as well.

“Faced My Fears In Portland” will be published as an E-book and in paperback form, so you will have 2 book formats to choose from. I plan to publish the book in hardcover and audio format at a later time.

Couple things about the next stages;

1. If you decide to purchase a copy of the book would you consider writing a review on Amazon? It would be help increase sales. I simply want Marc’s legacy to get out to readers & personal recommendations are an important draw.

2. In the marketing phase I’m going to set the price low at certain intervals to allow people to buy in multiples. I know the topic is a tough one for some, but you might want to buy more than one for a gift or for a group discussion. One contact is going to display the book in her store. I’ll share here about special pricing.

I’ll be offering ‘free’ books at the beginning as an incentive to prospective buyers. As a new author I’m trying to encourage people to trust my name and content. I’m already planning short books to follow this book.

While I’m a mediocre writer I have the best topic to write on, so I believe in my story, and that it will find a home in some hearts and minds out there. Coming out of a tragedy like losing a child takes tremendous work, but we all have the means inside us and around us to persevere thru the worst of times. I want people to see that living in fears can be a thing of the past. Especially in this time of a pandemic.

I hope you will log onto Amazon and look at the book in a week or so, and buy a copy! Thanks for following and stay tuned for more info!


Attention: Families of Andrew M & Wesley C.

Family Members of Andrew M and Wesley C,

Your son’s are in a few sections of my book “Faced My Fears In Portland”. If you wish to review the portions of the book that refer to them, please get a hold of me in the next 10 days, no later than August 15, 2021.

The book is basically the story of a parent’s challenge in dealing with a child’s homicide. It focuses on my recovery, the basics of a homicide investigation, and my forgiving and getting to know your sons. The case is public record, and my blog has been public for years for you to read. The book is a continuation of the blog in tone.

I welcome your comments. You may leave me a message by clicking on the “comment” section under the title of this blog post. Scroll down to the “reply’ section and enter your comment. Your remarks will be sent immediately to my email inbox. Please leave your email or phone number so I can reach you. Your info will not be shared, as your comment isn’t posted automatically. Book will be published shortly!

Diane De Han, Author

August 3, ’21

Comments on Marcsjustice.com Blog

Here are some comments from the last few years for my blog, marcsjustice.com.

“Faced My Fears In Portland” will be published soon –

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From Crista – On ‘Remembering Marc’ – “I absolutely love this. It shows just how much of an impact Marc made in this world. It tells a story of who Marc is. Thank you for sharing this beautiful glimpse with us. I know Marc is so very proud of his strong and courageous mom” –

Rob R.   “Beautiful”

“Great post. Amen to fighting the divisive rhetoric of the Left!”  On the post “Living Thru the 5/29/20 protests in L.A.”

Cynthia – “Di, great job drawing the reader in with warmth, historical depth and beautiful description and painting the city of Portland setting up for special glimpse into Marc’s life and a mother’s profound love. Yes we want more!! Feed us the journey with your grace and elegant flare. You are a very talented writer.”  On “Preface from ‘Faced My Fears In Portland”

Stacey – “It takes courage to share your heart this way and be transparent about where you are and how you view God through your pain and loss. There is a purpose, Diane. You just might not know it for a while and all is revealed. Much love and lots of prayers!”

Jim Slone – “I have just tonight discovered your material via the Facebook writers forum we share. Your thoughts are amazing and I admire your tenacity and clear headed descriptions of subjects that are hard to think about, much less write on. I will keep reading.”

Silvana – “Thank you Diane for allowing us to be part of your story. Your courage helps us to cope with our losses, (so we) stop and reflect on the power of God and His comfort. We are not alone.”

“Dear Diane, it’s Emma, Corben and Piper’s mum from the school – Thank you for sharing your blog with me. I can’t imagine the pain you and your family have been through these past few years but I thank you for sharing your story, you are very courageous. I find your blog beautifully written and inspiring, despite its tragic subject matter. I think Marc would be very proud of you. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as you approach Marc’s birthday and anniversary. Thank you again, Emma”

“Wow, can’t wait to read it!” (Book) –  On “Chapter One”

Lisa Marie – “What about mental illness?”  (on post about need for police)

From Patti – “You truly inspire me. Your tragedy of the loss of your son would to me be unbearable. I know how grief lingers but you have risen above it and share with us your journey. You are so brave! Your words are eloquent and your message so important for others. Thanks, Diane.”

L. – “After your recent tweet about the Portland riot, I found your blog. I am so glad I did! You have a clarity of mind that is rare these days. (I wish you were my neighbor, so we could have coffee and talk more. )”

Angelina – “Keep writing and sharing. God bless!”

Aracely – “It’s beautiful to know that after all you went through you still have the capacity to love and forgive the persons who hurt the one you most love. Blessings Diane. ”  Re: “Article Day of The Murder”

Linda Marquez – “Thank you for telling us!!”  “Second Hardest Post I’ve Ever Written’ (re: Twitter and cancel culture)

Stephanie C. – “Stay strong Diane. God is with you and so are your friends who deeply care about you. Praying for you to feel Gods love and comfort.. xo”


7/13 – Update on Book “Face My Fears In Portland”

Keller Fountain, Downtown Portland –

Summer Greetings!

Faced My Fears In Portland” will be published soon! You’ll be able to find it on Amazon.com and most other book sellers sites like Walmart, Barnes & Noble, etc. It will be published in e-book form, paperback and hopefully soon in audio format. (There’s actually a good audience in audio books).

Writing a book takes longer than you might think. It’s not a romantic endeavor most of the time. I’ve had to wear different hats and learn to edit, publish, design, market, network.

The book covers the early posts in marcsjustice.com but also brings the story up to the present day. It’s a chronological telling of the homicide investigation and the challenges I went thru due to losing Marc. The defendants are mentioned, and as they’re still alive, I’ve decided not to reveal their last names, even tho that’s public record.

Marc with Rose –

I’ve always thought hard on how to portray the boys. I decided to continue sharing about them as the real life strong men they are  …. strong and frail …. like we all are. I’ve had enough personal interaction with both of them about many things. I was always amazed with their openness to me being we have this sad, tragic crime between us to remember all the time. They always welcomed my positivity (as Andrew would call it). There would be no sense in making anything up. I don’t write about the defendants to shame them, I actually share alot of painful, personal things about myself in the book.

The guys are lesser characters in my personal story. I enjoyed sharing their human sides. The story to me is more a love story. Of course, everyone has a little different take on what “love” means.

I know the defendants have contacts or family who read this blog, and are nervous about what’s in the book. I want to remind them my son’s case is public knowledge, and I’ve always tried to be honest yet gracious in my portrayal of their loved one. Authors are legally allowed to write their true life experience without outside permission, repercussion …. they can even make a movie out of their experience. (They’ve always been free to contact me on this site, if they have any questions. Comments are open to all)



Endorsements for my book “Faced My Fears In Portland”

Thanks to those who took time out of their busy schedules to read and comment on the story in my book, “Faced My Fears In Portland”.  It’s been so interesting working with a diverse group of friends and contacts. I wanted readers to get a fair representation of my story from the endorsements, to help them decide on the book’s content.

The book is for sale at Amazon & most other book sellers –

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“I am a 20 year veteran of the NYPD My career began in the subways of some of the toughest neighborhoods in Brooklyn to the streets of South Jamaica Queens during the crack epidemic of the 80sI was assigned to the Emergency Service Unit dealing with the most horrific scenes one could imagine including 9/11 where we lost 14 friends in our Unit, and many more due to 9/11 illnesses since.

Keller Fountain, Downtown Portland, OR

Reading the gripping words from Diane De Han’s journey about the murder of her son Marc brings back so much trauma of what a loved one goes through when losing a child. Especially when that loss involves a violent crime such as Marc’s. When a police officer or a fireman dies in the Line of Duty there is an outpouring of support from co-workers near and far, unions, politicians, and communities. There are streets named after, anniversary memorials, scholarships in their names. When a parent loses a child to a victim of a crime that parent has to lean on loved ones, friends, the police investigators and the court system.
Far too often those support systems fade away as their lives or other crimes take over. No street named afterwards, no memorials, and sadly no scholarships. The longer an investigation takes the more hopeless it can be for those loved ones. Often times a family member can feel as though they are the only ones to care anymore if a crime is solved; they feel they are the only advocate for justice. But behind the scenes are usually hard working, determined detectives working vigorously to provide what little justice they can for the crushed hearts of people like Diane and others.
Diane gives us a sense of the nightmare she has lived through from the first phone call, to having to go though her son Marc’s belongings, to dealing with having to face this trauma with her ex-husband, surviving son and defendants. It is a nightmare we can close the book on but sadly Diane cannot. The book is extremely difficult to put down as we are taken on the roller coaster ride of her son’s murder and the fight for justice. In the end, Diane makes one grateful for each and everyday we have on earth with our loved ones.”
Mark Chamberlain
NYPD Police Officer,
Retired, Emergency Service Unit

Publisher of “Faced My Fears In Portland”

Written straight from the grieving heart of a mother whose soul is renewed through the journey of forgiveness and new life. Diane De Han witnesses hope in the darkness and invites us to join her. Powerful!
Dana Hanson
author of Reboot: 70 Life Lessons with Dallas Willard
For many years, I’ve been an avid fan of true crime books. This is the very first time one of them has shown me such a shattering tragedy through the eyes of a parent. You can almost feel the steps Diane takes on her long pathway as she learns to live with the pain and implications of her son’s violent death.  This book is vivid and emotional, and reminds the reader over and over about how the bonds of love outlast all of us when we’re gone.
Joe Silverman, MD
Diane’s perseverance through unimaginable pain gives hope that with God’s help, healing is possible. Diane has an amazing story of forgiveness that will inspire, encourage, and help people heal.
Chris McKinney, Founder and Managing Editor,
Called Writers Christian Publishing
Author, “Calling All Writers!”

Summary of Book “Faced My Fears In Portland”


When I hear about a murder on TV, I frequently feel frustrated at how the news handles crime or violence. I wish the public could hear about crime with all its ramifications and not in snippets. We need references to crime based on reality, not shock value, sentiment, or political rhetoric in times of tragedy. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to share my and Marc’s story. I wanted to capture the multiple facets of human and community involvement in a homicide case.  I wanted to make human tragedy come off these pages and visit with you for a moment.

Whoever you are, I hope I’ve shared in this book that individual relationships are the sustaining hope we have in life, not tribes or politics. I simply wanted readers to know there’s more to a brief news story than meets the eye. Human lives are being affected in enormous ways, and it’s the strength of strong relationships that will get people through a personal crisis.  

I’ll never forget in the couple months after Marc’s murder, even when I was having PTSD and crying a lot, I could write in my blog and recall all the love I shared with Marc. I simply basked in the perfect knowledge that God allowed me to know and love this precious young man. That bubble of “love” we shared carried me for weeks. It sustained me with a deep, secret understanding of what real life was about. I felt free to talk about love in my blog, while others were mute and barely able to share what people meant to them.

The genuine tragedy in life is to go through it without ever having loved. It’s a sad fact that in this modern age many people are never touched by the miracle of love. It’s in every soul to desire the love of another. We think of God’s love as perfect too, but we need other humans. So, in this book I wanted to share not a tragic personal experience, but the triumph of love, for without that bond with Marc, there’d be no blog, book, or life for me.

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I like to give snippets of what’s in my book. I hope it helps you grasp what’s at the core of the story.  Will share more soon. Thank you for your continued support!

Preface to my book, “Faced My Fears In Portland”

Summer reading is here!

It’s not usual to write a book on a homicide, but this book is one such attempt. Publishing is moving along. After the book is published, I’ll be asking you to buy a copy, read it and send a review. Details will follow!

                                        “Faced My Fears in Portland”


This book’s been written with you in mind. I believe you’re the kind of person who’s always trying to sort through the tough issues of life. Many people would be turned off by a book centering on a homicide, but coming off a pandemic has prepared you for almost any topic.

This book is an extension of my blog  marcsjustice.com  which I started soon after my son Marc was murdered in Portland, OR in October 2014. I originally wanted to write about the case to keep family and friends informed on its progress, but the writing ritual soon became a much-needed conduit that helped me deal with life and death issues of my own. I emerged from my son’s tragic death stronger than I’d ever been, and free from several deep fears I thought were just part of my makeup.

In these pages I’m seeking to dialog with you about human tragedy, because we’re all coming off some kind of pain due to the pandemic or some other matter. I’m writing so that those of you who are worried about our families and our nation can know there’s still much good in this world.  God is not out of the picture!

I’m hoping you’re a reader who’s open to looking at life in real terms, and you’re tired of hearing stories through rose colored glasses; and tired of hearing info that scares you out of your wits every day. My readers know we are in a state of flux in this nation and that a genuinely personal story is appreciated in times of crises. You don’t need to be part of any religion or political party to “get” the message in this book. This book will strike a chord in many of you!




*New – Intro to book, “Faced My Fears In Portland”

Are you tired of the confusion and frustration from a year of Covid? How have Americans dealt with national trauma in the past? Read this snippet and think for yourself.

Following is Part 1 of the Introduction to my new book, Faced My Fears In Portland.

 Introduction – Part 1

On November 22nd, 1963, President John F. Kennedy was riding in a limo along with the governor of Texas and their wives. As they wove along Dealy Plaza highway, waving to the public lining the street’s edge, President Kennedy was shot twice …. once in the neck, once in the head …. before slumping over towards his wife Jacqueline in the back seat.

The President was transported to Dallas’ Parkland Memorial Hospital Trauma Room 1, where reporters got fragmented bits of information on his condition. In stillness the public waited for some indication of how serious his injuries were. We went through a multitude of emotions, thoughts and reactions together as a people …. all because we honored our President and were deeply affected by the attack he suffered.

Picture I took of downtown Portland overlooking the Willamette River –

The tragedy stunned everyone in America and beyond! It never mattered most of us were from different political parties, races or religions. In 1963 Americans in general valued life too much to speak harshly of leaders and their wives who’d been attacked in broad daylight while the public watched. As we all kept our ears focused to the TV coverage we were “one people” with a common bond, we valued our leaders life and our national security! And, back then, unlike now, we trusted the somber, hushed tones of TV reporters and the few facts they could scrape together in their quest for accurate updates on our President.

On a flight to Portland, taking off from Sacramento, CA –

Do we have a populace now that’s as cohesive as that of 1963? Are we bound by a common respect for life and death like the majority were in 1963? Even a space alien would tell you ‘NO’.

Things have changed in a few decades. We’re living in a time where murder, and sadly mass murder or violence, is more commonplace in the news. As I write this in 2021, people from all races or beliefs are finding themselves befuddled and outraged by anarchist or Left leaning groups rioting and destroying central city businesses and neighborhoods when they want. Our national rhetoric is being steered in another direction away from the morals that upheld our nation for centuries.

Part 2 – Introduction, to follow –

Faced My Fears In Portland, to be published soon –