As a mourning parent I’ve tried to be honest about my grief. I’ve known that if I don’t deal in reality about my loss, if I hate the defendants or start developing fear or whatever, then I’ll be a ‘goner.’ I’ll end up half alive, (or half dead,) and I’ll be this shell of a person, wallowing in all these ‘feelings’ about life, but never working out what path is right or where I want to go from here. If I blocked out my sadness or feared looking at my pain, I’d be like so many in this Western World … living on a trite level, letting others or the TV, etc. influence me so that I was confused or tormented. Letting my health or sanity go.
At this time of deep, unexpected loss I’m so glad I’ve pretty much kept to my own counsel. I basically hold up the words from other sources to sound common sense, or how they resonate in my heart or soul. Some people want to ‘comfort’ and some want to give ‘advise’. It’s always appropriate to give love and prayers at times like this, it ties us to each other and God in dimensions that words alone can’t express. It’s not always so validating to get ‘advise’.
Marc was such an inspiration as he could pretty much take what others say and assess them as being sound or not. Even when we’d watch a news program we knew we were getting just some general ‘facts’ but not necessarily the truth on some issue. You have to think for yourself about things, because we don’t live in an Age of personal relationships like we did in earlier times, but we live in an Age of information. That info can be written like a 5 year old to sound authoritative or it can be by a professor trying to let us know we are dummies for believing in God.
Thank God for solid personal relationships! They are more real than info telling us what to buy. We have minds and hearts, and they weren’t meant to be substituted for sensual ‘things’! Romans 12:2 says …. ‘Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…’ We need to be reminded to test the spirits, to look inside at our honest needs and not be tempted to copy the remarks of the person in our family or class who we think we should please. Christians can’t win the world being influenced so much by it!