Happy Mother’s Day To You (And Me)

Happy Mother’s Day to you! I’m saying to ‘me’ too because it’s a hard day. I’m finding my ‘loss’ is still as deep as ever!

Some of us are joyful on this day because ‘we’ are celebrated. Some of us are ‘mournful’ as we miss not only our mother but the children we were supposed to be mothering! All this joy and sorrow seem confusing to me sometimes.

My 2 sons, Paul (l) and Marc (r)

How do other mom’s celebrate with one child gone? Some parents lost their sons to war, or violence or heroin. It all hurts. Certain holidays are so ‘different’ since Marc went to heaven. So many things have changed, and not for the worse, so I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I know other mom’s are feeling a ‘lack’ even tho we’ve still got lives and children to be responsible for.

I’m blessed to have another great son, Paul, my first born! Named in part after my older brother Paul who was a beacon of love to me! You never know how your children will develop? You never know totally what’s going on inside until they grow older and reveal more of their inner hearts and ideas. When they’re younger they’re learning how to be an adult and wanting to please us. I’m so blessed both my sons have deeply caring, hopeful personalities. They aren’t whiners, blaming God, others whenever life is hard. They never used their friends or women as they set their goals. I’m so grateful that Paul still wears his heart/emotions on his ‘sleeve’, as they say. He still has a sense of the spontaneity and joy of life that many lose as they age.

My son Paul and I

I’ve appreciated so much those today who’ve helped me ‘bear’ my loss.  I don’t want to forget Marc. I don’t want to pretend there is no mourning in this life that can’t be answered by the Lion of Judah who sends us strength to bear us up and power to envision beyond the grave.  That love is available in all circumstances. If you know the bible is true, that it speaks of real life and real overcoming from loss, like in Ruth’s story, then you know there is purpose beyond the grave! Faith produces ….. self pity diminishes. Hope restores joy ….  bitterness depletes. Death is not the final say so, God is always looking to the future!

We live in this narrow world where we don’t wish to get involved in others pain many times. The human experience of growing in Christ escapes us when we are only trying to be ‘happy’all the time. I’m so grateful for other Mom’s who hurt but still love. For Mother’s who speak out their sorrow honestly but make plans to ‘give’ instead of holding grudges.

“Love ….. bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things …..  love never fails.”  I Cor 13:7-8

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