For some reason I never got around to sharing about Marc’s memorial, it still seems so painful, private, unbelievable we even had to have one! I just didn’t even want to be there, it took so much will power to drag myself to the church. But …. if I never shared it would be a glaring omission in Marc’s story.
When I really think of that day though …. I ‘smile’. It was so intimate and personal! It seemed like all the pieces came together so that people could attend. We celebrated him on 11/11 at 11:00 AM. I was so moved that a few family/friends came from out of state to surprise me! The highlight was when so many came forward to share and oh, how they shared! I was a zombie of sorts as I listened to all these people talk about my son. I cried and laughed along with others I guess but it seemed so odd to be there …. like a nightmare I was sharing with a lot of people! Using the ‘past’ tense re: Marc was bizarre! I hated that side of it!
I arranged for classical organ favorites and the song ‘It Is Well With My Soul’. I asked a friend to sing songs from his last CD. A memory table was set up with all kinds of photos, mementos from Marc’s life. Sometimes I felt so weird, and guilty, like I was preparing for a party not a solemn farewell to my son. I was very conflicted but had to finish the event. Several of us prepared a meal that I wanted to reflect some of Marc’s favorite foods. But I knew that whatever people were seeing on the outside, the ‘real’ Marc was too awesome to share in a couple hours!
The main thing I remember from that day, even tho I was still angry that Marc had been taken, was that we focused on how wonderful God still was, and how much we dearly loved Marc! People shared of the joy and levity Marc brought into their life. He brought us down to earth with his deep authenticity to life’s situations. Marc was so real, so transparent … not a phony, a ‘player’. What a day we shared!