I think many of us Americans’ get stuck emulating the attitude of being so strong for others that it seems wrong to break down and be real! My family background was alot like that. Many of our films, TV have tended to show that the ultimate manly character trait should be as the strong, non-verbal guy who works hard at things and doesn’t complain. Women are that way too at times, but always ‘giving’, never asking. The main problem with that is that we lose out on real intimacy with others, we never know who we really are cause we never reveal anything personal to anyone. I’m referring to our comfort around others and being able to hear their hopes, dreams, fears.
Marc helped me get out of that rut, he was the main family member who helped open my eyes to a more emotionally balanced relationship with others. Things didn’t need to be tough, hard or pleasing to others. You just needed to be ‘real’ around him, whatever you were dealing with. So much of the time people talk about material goals, family activities, pleasures … but we fail to live on the personal level. It’s more important to deal on a feeling level rather than a ‘crave’ level, or a ‘willful’ one. What a great sense of freedom to be in the presence of a friend or family member where you can be real, unmask yourself.
I know this is out of the ordinary …. this is how an artist or Jesus lived. It’s helped me to remember to relax my official role with others when I can, while at the same time maintaining awareness of my surroundings. We must always make time to be real. It doesn’t matter if people think we’re not cool, or if we feel stressed cause we’re not getting some really’ necessary’ thing done! Life is so centered and complete when you can be yourself with others. If you go thru hard times together, or have an argument, as long as you remain true to yourself in a relationship it just strengthens the tie you share!
This is what I had with Marc and one huge reason I loved being around him! I’m still trying to live by these principles to this day! It’s a legacy that lives on!