Chapter One …… Exerpts

Below are the first few paragraphs from Chapter One, where I give readers a little view of Portland and Marc’s life.

Been thinking of Marc alot of late, as I share parts of my book with different people. I feel him close by and know he’s joining me to get our story out –

                                                   Chapter One

                                                    Little Bit Of Heaven

                                   “Sawbonna”      Zulu word for ‘I see you’

The Pacific Northwest had always seemed so dreary a place to live most of the year, but when I looked out over the city of Portland, I was surprised at how it’s natural beauty dazzled my eyes.  The tall buildings downtown made a stunning statement against the October sunset. The evening lights signaled the city was winding down, its daylight bath of sun fading. Twinkling lights lit up the tree lined avenues and Portland’s many park areas. From my vantage point I could see the bridges on the wide Willamette River joining the people of SW PDX with those in the South East.  Life below seemed to flow perfectly.

How many people have walked Portland city floors in the last 200 years since the West Coast was brought into mainland America by the Louisiana Purchase? How many were born since that time with sky high hopes and dreams?  People in every age had lived life just as my son Marc and I were, working on our destiny …. meeting up to share a celebration.

I’d visited Portland before, but never viewed it from this angle. There’s something breathtaking about seeing a special town or landscape from so high up, like when you’re flying to a vacation spot and look down at the human specks below, the mountains or beaches gleaming beyond. It makes you feel small, but then it can make you feel powerful.

As I watched the mass of people below driving home for the day or meeting friends for dinner, I felt a connection to them ….  like life can seem grand when you’re with someone you love or care about. It’s like love can make your everyday problems seem so small. Then I caught myself and remembered, ‘there’s people down on that city floor who’re suffering in some way’, life isn’t always as rosy as we think on the other side …. and I felt for them.

I was in this city again as Marc had just completed a nine month course at Oregon Culinary Institute and was graduating the next day. There was a lot of relief on his side as the course had been as intense as any professional institute with a high standing could be. He was double excited as he landed a modest starting position working only four blocks from home. The peace in his life was palpable, I was so grateful for how things were coming together like he dreamed they would.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

Hope you got a glimpse of the city of Portland, little of Marc and the books scope.

  • (WordPress is not aligning headings right this morning)

Preface to Book and a Comment

In the coming weeks I’m going to release some snippets of my book so you get an idea of the scope and tone, which is different from this blog here. The following is the Preface from my book. A Preface shares with potential readers how the book came about and why they should buy the book. You guys know Marc’s and my story, this Preface is for Mr & Mrs Joe Public when the book is being marketed on Amazon, etc.

I’m always open to your impressions!

PREFACE –  “Murder and Justice in Portland”  by Diane De Han

“This book’s been written with you in mind. You’re an individual who’s always trying to sort through some of the messy issues of life. Most people won’t initiate a conversation about a homicide investigation, but you’re reading this, so you’re different.

You know the idea of you or a loved one being murdered is the most catastrophic thing you could ever imagine happening! It makes you sad or your blood run cold just my bringing this up. So, your curiosity about this book is an honest reaction to one of our common fears.

This conversation regarding murder is an important one as we’re going thru a new ‘normal’ in the world.  It used to be everyone had nightmares about being attacked by ‘Jaws’, now people lie awake at night and wonder what they’d do if a mass shooter opened up at a school or mall!

I wrote this book to expand the story in my blog, which I started soon after my son Marc was murdered in Portland, OR in October 2014. Immediately after the tragic incident I was forced to deal not only with my son’s homicide case but make important decisions about a couple life and death issues of my own.

I’m going to share with you a parent’s worst nightmare, but it won’t be a journey into the gory details of a murder case, I still can’t bear to go into that side of things. If you want a book that scares you then check out a Hollywood thriller or a true detective TV show. Although this book is a very personal journey I’m not going to bore you with sentimental trivia that won’t be useful to the theme. Rather, I think folks are more interested in how a murder case transpires and how people deal with the big questions of the presence of evil in life, and how does one manage the pain and loss of a loved one’?

We’re not being encouraged to think for ourselves much nowadays but we’re born with a conscience inside us that says the opposite …. it knows what’s real, what’s right, it can guide us in our affairs far better than a news source can. It’s there to steer us on the right path as well as guide us out of our suffering …. if we listen.

This book recognizes that we live in a society where the overwhelming message from media suggests that life is impersonal and nothing lasts. I’ve tried to take the concepts of love, pain, justice and healing that I learned out of our cultures hands and give them back into the hands of individuals like you who have a strong conscience and a desire to find God’s hand in all our circumstances.”

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Well, looks like the book title is ‘kaput’!

Last night after I commented on a tweet I was ‘blocked’ from commenting or liking anyone further! The only reason I came up with is that I used the word ‘murder’ that’s used in my book title when I commented to George Papadopoulos about my book. I shared how I was reading his new book, “Deep State Target”, and how it had inspired me in a particular chapter.

I hardly ever use this title on social media, but I think the algorhythms picked up the word ‘murder’ and didn’t like it, even tho I wasn’t threatening anyone. Think I’ll change the title since Twitter, and probably FB, will be touchy.

I’m such a free speech advocate, and don’t want to be forced to change to be politically correct. But, it’s a technical issue with them I guess, as they have so many users, that’s one way they can filter out the really dangerous people.

I’ve got another title in mind with some of the same connotations, as I don’t want to forget the horrendous loss that night in Portland!


My New Book & Some Good Info

I’m sorta in ‘hiding’ as I finish my book.

I’m moving away from the shocking side of Marc’s incident and building the story around ‘relationships’! If we live according to this world, we’re supposed to be a loner where everyone works out their own path, own answers …. but the way it works best is when we surrender to both God’s order of things and decipher rightly about those He places in our lives.

My book will be for society in general. I feel people aren’t trusting their own conscience much anymore, this is the prime way God speaks to us, according to Ken E. Hagin. I’m not writing to show people how much I ‘know’ about God but I want to share how He sustains us in this modern age! He gives us our private ‘radar’ to help us in this age of confusion and needing to be politically right.

Downtown Portland, OR MAX rail track

On another issue ….. I’ve been going thru alot of questioning and anguish in the last 2 years about our country! Marc and I cared so much about many of the challenges in our nation, so it’s been normal to share about politics and cultural themes at times in this blog.  I mean, as Christian’s we live in a world of government, economics/jobs, and a natural world where we’re supposed to be involved and making our world a better place to live.

We’re so blessed in the U.S., the West but there are threats blocking our freedom to speak out, to feel safe, to live openly. Too many people outside our life are trying to make important decisions for us. Some of the traditional formats for discussing life as a nation are being dried up ….. authentic political debates, great books, good theatre, innovative music that expresses adult views or TV shows with real family drama.

Sometimes I’ve literally asked myself ‘am I the only one feeling so torn by what’s going on around me”? And of course, I know I’m not alone as there are many who’re concerned about the way things are being handled in their work life, home life, health, our political scenes.

I recently broke down and joined Kindle and oh, my, it’s opened up a whole variety of writers who’re in sync with my hunches and observations. I knew of futurist writers like George Orwell, Huxley, & C. S. Lewis foreboding doom in some areas of our Western Culture but I didn’t know many in America who’re looking at our world with eyes wide open?

Anyway, here’s a sample of the books on our cultural issues. There’s a whole world out there that I wish many more knew of, there’s people writing books who’re trying to help us cut thru the confusion. When we know more, we can arm ourselves and take action. Some of these books are historically based, some on family, some on our identity as human beings, some on the political world:

“The Vanishing American Adult’   –  Sen. Ben Sasse

Our Kids: The American Dream in Crises”   –    NYT Best selling author,  Robert Putnam

Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of American Elite Life etc… ”  –   William Deresiewicz

‘Mr. Trump’s Wild Ride’     –   Major Garrett

“The Tech Wise Family’   –   Andy Crouch

Coming Apart’   Challenges of White Society in U.S.    –     Charles Murray

 “Our Lost Constitution”   –  Sen. Mike Lee

Amusing Ourselves To Death”   –  Neil Postman

Dumbing Us Down: Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling’   –   John Taylor Gatto

There are so many more books, as well as groups, speakers, or people on TV sharing how our world is changing and what we can do about it. I wish more Congressional leaders were reading about some of these issues and sharing their views. We need to know where their hearts are.

Will share more books in the future …..

It Never Stops, My Son

Sometimes on this journey with Marc’s legacy it seems the road stops, the brick wall goes up and life seems to come to a grinding halt. I can’t see past the wall, the sense of vision I had seems to evaporate! A dread feeling enters ….. it says, ‘There’s nothing else! That’s all there is to Marc’s legacy. You lost him, you’re taking this too far! Forget it.’

The ‘game’ of life –

We all have times where we question our true desires or wonder how they will pan out? We ask, ‘were they just idle hopes or something deep that has to be fulfilled’?  It’s not often but it does happen. Sometimes we just need a few new people or resources in our lives to help us know we’re on the right track.

Few weeks back I discovered a TV show I’d never seen before, “Dog, the Bounty Hunter’. Sure, I’d heard about ‘Dog’  years ago but I never knew how much his wife Beth and sons were part of their ‘family business’. I’ve been so touched at the way his family operates like a team and treat the fugitives ‘running’ from the law so well! They are downright angry with fugitives skipping court but so caring about their souls in the car drive back to jail. They even help people get jobs after they’re released. Both Dog and Beth had skirmishes with the law as youths and know the fears and anxieties of a fugitive, and how many can benefit from someone just taking an interest in them.

The show shares their family time, the honors given their work, their problems and they even pray for the people with warrants out. It’s been exciting to find more people like me who’re concerned about respect for the law but then care about particular defendants. Dog and his family hunt people down with the skill of a lawyer and detective, I’ve been very impressed.

I’m a very nerdy type half the time, so it’s been good to discover others outside of books and writing who’re there in the real world with a similar concern for others like me. I have a normal life but to some it’s weird. (There’s more in other posts on the story of the defendants in my sons case.) Meeting Dale and Sandy Russell of Visions of Hope in Oregon has been one of the best things to happen last year! They have a special connection with the prison the main defendant resides in, and have been a constant blessing on my journey!

Only in America!

I never chose this kind of life, I never expected Marc’s tragedy. I expected a good but I now know ….  safe life. But being mainly safe is not where it’s at!

It never stops, Marc, still missing you! It still seems unbelievable it happened!

A Teacher’s View of R Kids

The open letter below has haunted me for a while!

Educators see alot, we’re constantly observing! We’re also like relatives in a way …. seeking to care for, instruct and shape your children into strong kids. People expect so much of us cause in many ways there ARE no relatives at home, no tight-knit place that nurtures, shapes a child. We are your contact people with your children most of the time.

While we live in a wonderful country in many ways, this article has outlined a trend that is disturbing. I live in CA, and see the  real problems, there’s also …. a remedy!

Article by Amie Diprima Brown

“With all of the talk about guns in schools, why it’s (school violence) is happening, and how to solve the issue let me offer a little different perspective.

I’ve been teaching since 2003. This marks my 15th year in the classroom. Everybody always talks about how schools have changed, and it’s true, they have. Yes, there’s the “crazy new math” and “bring your own device” changes. However, there are some other changes that I think the general population is not aware of.

Every year for 15 years I have sent home the same assignment on the first day of school. I send a letter home asking parents to tell me about their child in a million words or less. I go on to explain that I want to learn the child’s hopes, dreams, fears, challenges, etc and jokingly ask parents to limit it to less than a million words since we all know we could talk forever about our children. I go on to say I’m not grading these, not looking at handwriting or grammar and don’t care if they send them back with their child, email them, drop them off at the office, etc.

These letters have been so beneficial to me as a teacher and getting to know my students on a personal level. I have learned about eating disorders, seizures, jealousy issues between twins, depression, adoption, abuse…just to name a few things. These letters give me a huge head start on getting to truly know my students. I often pull them out when a child has a sudden change in behavior or issue that comes up. Just this week I had 2 students lose their mother unexpectedly. Brother and sister, I taught one last year and one this year. As I have done before, i immediately went to my folders to pull the letters that mom sent for her children. It’s a beautiful gift that I feel I can give students to get a glimpse into how much a parent loved and adored them.

As I was putting the folders back in the file cabinet I noticed something. I know that the percentage of parents that complete this assignment each year has gotten lower and lower, but looking at the size of the folders shocked me. That first year I had 98% of the parents send back some type of letter on their child. This year… 22%. That’s a lot of opportunities lost for me to get to know students. Sadly, more parents have access to an electronic device that makes this task even easier and less time-consuming.

On another note, this year’s average for homework turned in is riding at 67%. I’m talking a twice monthly 5 sentence summary of what the student is reading in their own time. I remind students daily, I send text messages through Remind, it’s on my website. The only other thing I could do is do it for them. Parents continue to let their child rack up zero after zero. But then again, that average used to be around 98% as well. It was rare for more than 1-2 students to not have their homework 15 years ago. Now, it’s just frustrating.

With all of our other responsibilities in our profession, how are we supposed to get to know students so that we can identify the ones with the mentality and disposition to become a school shooter if parents are checking out of the academic process? How are we supposed to educate children when their parents don’t require, expect and demand their child complete their homework?

Don’t wait until your child is the school shooter to let us know your child is struggling mentally. Don’t wait until your child is ineligible for sports or the day before report cards to check grades and question the teacher on why your child is failing.

Be a parent. Be involved in your child’s life so that you can help them through the issues with friends, the possible suicidal thoughts, and problems academically. I promise you, if parents spent more time with their children and got involved in their lives, we would see drastic improvements in our schools and our society.

As parents, our job is to grow the most amazing humans possible. Its the most important job in the world. The education and emotional stability a parent provides is priceless.”

*     *     *     *     *

We can talk all we want about guns or mental illness. We can talk all night about what Congress or the FBI should do or how to guard the school, yes, we can do more …. but the article above focuses on what’s happening in our homes. A major key in eliminating school violence is taking control of ones own children, letting parents know they are powerful and their children will respect them.

Articles like Aime’s help me understand the defendants in Marc’s case, how they could end up in the mess they got in. I know there’s a rise in youth addiction, it’s many times a way to self medicate from pressures of not fitting in, family dysfunction. Teen depression & suicide are also rising, it’s a problem among the rich as well as poorer families.

We are facing an epidemic …. but, if parents would only arm themselves with knowledge we could weather this crises!


New Link to Sentencing in Marc’s Case

On June 3, 2015 the main defendant in Marc’s case was sentenced. The following video was prepared by Brent Weisberg, a reporter at KOIN6 news, (CBS affiliate, Portland, OR), and shown that evening. People have told me how much it touched their hearts to see this so I’ve tried to use it at times. Unfortunately, KOIN6 went thru several owners in the last couple years and the servers left this video out. As I was fact checking for my book I found they restored it, so here it is!

Marc and Rose –

 Just want to share the type of case we had so you can understand how I could develop a relationship with the main defendant, and see how God was involved in the whole matter. (The clip is an overview, not the entire hearing.) For info on other aspects of the case, please see the archives on my site.

Thanks so much for your continued prayers and support!  May we all go forward with both justice yet mercy in this life –

Marc’s memory is alive!

Sentencing of Andrew Metzner



Already This Year …. Abortion Debacle

….. it seems like 2019 is going down as the year when the war against babies is really being revealed!

Things like the sanctity of life are to me indisputable, something I didn’t think needed defending. Personally, abortion is something I’d never consider …. it wouldn’t be me, as I value life too much. I think God puts that instinct in us, to value the innocent. It just never worried me what others believed, cause I knew where I stood.

Recently I’ve been stunned, sickened by some of the news coming out about abortion in some states. Been reading on Twitter very specific things that make me feel some have sunk to a new low in our country:

  • It was totally soul-rending to watch legislators in New York State cheering after a bill was signed to legalize the abortion of a fetus’ in the 3rd trimester. Why the open cheers?
  • Right after, a couple of VA state legislators asked about legislation for babies late term.
  • Immediately after that the VA Governor tried to bring the furor down by saying that babies born during labor would be kept alive and comfortable until the parents and Dr. decided what they wished to do with the child!

The descriptions above have compelled me to write this post! I guess I’ve lived in a bubble and not realized how much this topic of abortion is pervading our country’s laws, communities. I’ve not really investigated how much the abortion rhetoric has gone beyond Planned Parenthood and out to states to legislate! Rather, I’ve just tried to keep my eyes on all the good done for the unborn:

  • People working to make the public aware of the rights of the unborn, like manning clinics to help women change their minds by offering them free ultrasounds, so they can see and hear their baby’s heart and body, and  …. hopefully change their minds.
  • People running homes so women can give birth to their child, even if they give him/her up for adoption.
  • New legislation is being passed in some states, giving stronger rights to the unborn than what New York State gives, so it’s not all bad news for the unborn.

The unborn have value!

My mind just can’t grasp the horror that’s being done to the little ones! Sucking a baby out, breaking limbs, brain matter being forced out ….. just unbelievable gore, trauma! To hear about these things is like hearing we have little Nazi death chambers across the U.S. The inhumanity done to human babies …. we’d feel bad if we heard that farmers did that to the offspring on their farm, why aren’t we more upset about human babies?

My 2 sons, Paul (older) and Marc

I know some women believe a fetus is theirs to do what they want with. But ….. what about your own body? That NY bill not only wants to destroy a baby’s life but the mother’s almost. I was sickened to learn that the NY bill allows non-physicians to perform the late trimester ‘surgery’! What get’s me, aside from taking the life of an unborn, is …. why would you let a non-physician remove your almost full term baby? Don’t you care about how it’s removed, what it could do to your body, your conscience, your ability to bear children later?

What or who are legislators thinking of when they make these laws in New York? What makes me upset as I read more on the abortion issue in some states is that the laws aren’t being discussed openly with views from both sides, with medical and other advisors testifying. Many citizens don’t know what their legislators are doing these days!

An abortion Dr. very calmly and methodically described to Congress some time ago what happens to a fetus after a woman is sedated. The parts of a baby are ‘pulled’ out ‘very hard’, he said. Can you imagine a non-doctor doing this?l! We aren’t talking about a mid-wife who’s trained to deliver a healthy baby. I don’t even wanna think about what is done to get a large infants head to pass thru the birth canal aside from normal delivery or C-section. To think that some legislators think it’s okay to wrench a full term infant from a woman is beyond my world …. hard to believe!

I can’t imagine being pregnant and living in shame or being in fear of what my parents may think. I can’t imagine not having a marriage or home in place to bring a child into? I know our world doesn’t like to hear this but we need to remember we all are responsible for our lives whatever comes, we need to make the right decisions and there’s help out there if we’re confused or fall. I know some women are pretty far gone to drugs and alone, or fall into the wrong crowd but their conscience is still alive and functioning. We can’t pretend that removing an obstacle is the answer to our ‘problem’. Too many youth are in their own worlds sharing the wrong, easy answers.

Since Marc’s murder I’ve been thinking about the purpose of government more. We had the best D.A., detectives for Marc’s case, there’s so many good people working in city governments. But in the larger bodies of govt. it’s not always so clear what they are trying to do, as they are messing with sacred issues. I wrote recently that government can be used to block freedoms, destroy the values we’ve lived by. The idea that a legislature can disrupt the continuity of human history with their declarations about men …. women …… children ……. life itself, is just mind boggling!

I had two miscarriages. I wasn’t able to say good-bye to them, I don’t know if they were male or female, though I have a hunch? I don’t know what they look like, but I will find out in heaven. I’ve asked that they be two of the first people to greet me when I die or Jesus takes us up.

We need to talk about some of these things so we don’t grow impervious to the challenges in life that people are facing. We never know who we may be able to comfort or enlighten!


Catholic Christianity In Modern Day Europe

Tradition is not an empty expression of faith, rather it can tie generations, cultures and individuals together over hundreds of years! Ideally, when we look past tradition, we find a flesh and blood God smiling down on us –

On my Twitter account I’m in touch with some from the UK who’re sharing their take on the Brexit decision and it’s stormy aftermath. This article below is by Michael Sullivan …. an Irish Catholic poet and writer living in Plymouth, England. There are some modern Christians in Europe who care about the quality of life in this age of dramatic changes –

Attending Mass at Notre-Dame, Paris

“On Sunday 13th January, following the March of Parisian Pride the night before, a handful of Generation Identity activists attended a traditional Catholic mass at the Notre-Dame Cathedral in the heart of Paris. We battled our tiredness from the rally and set off for the Île de la Cité in the brisk winter’s morning. We stopped off at a café and enjoyed a croissant and coffee as we admired the sight of the island. It is truly a monument to French architecture and city planning.

The buildings occupying the island are of varying age and function – some are medieval religious sites; others are war memorials and civic buildings – but they are in perfect harmony thanks to the orchestration of architects. We ambled around the Notre-Dame’s grounds, seeing monuments to Charlemagne and the apostles as we went, before being invited inside by a tremendous chorus of cathedral bells. As soon as we crossed the threshold, the bells were joined by an angelic choir and rumbling organ, enhanced by echoing corridors and a roof that seemed to press against the firmament itself.

As we stood at the entrance of the cathedral, we were struck with the sense of awe one feels in a place of great significance. We could feel the connection with our ancestors who stood in the same spot hundreds of years earlier. We heard the same chants, smelled the same incense, and saw the same stained glass icons as those who came before us. We were informed by many signs that the cathedral had been continually repaired, restored and added to in the nine centuries since its construction. This did not detract from the feeling of tradition, but enhanced it – such a magnificent monument was the culmination of hundreds of years of effort, a true labour of our forefathers’ love.

The same sense of tradition we felt so sharply in the pews of Notre-Dame is present in Christianity as a whole. One cannot overstate the importance of Christianity in European tradition. It is a thread that runs from the Roman Empire to the present day, a constant through a time of great change. Practising the same liturgy, singing the same hymns and walking the same halls as our ancestors allows us to feel connected to them and appreciate their experiences despite them often seeming so far away.

We left the mass with a reinvigorated sense of duty, which remains to improve our homeland as our forefathers improved it before us. To do this, we must actively promote expressions of European tradition and resist any and all attempts to erode it, which would sever the thread of continuity running through our history. Tradition serves as the roots of a people. With strong, deep tradition, a people will flourish, rooted firmly in their past but stretching far into the future; without it, a people will wither and weaken.”

Social Media & Other Attacks

There’s so much to be said about Twitter! I used to think it was a breeding ground for ‘celebrity’ excesses or ‘hate mongers’ on the Left or Right. Hardly anyone I knew was on the platform, so I just tended to believe the fearful stories out there. I try never to criticize or judge a thing till I check it out but I wanted to grow my blog and bring my book to a wider audience, so I joined and have learned alot in the last 6 months …..

One thing you have to deal with is the ‘attacks’ that come your way if you support a certain Left or Right viewpoint. Couple months ago I was on Twitter following a thread re: an Antifa protest in Portland. I made a brief favorable comment on what I felt was fairly honest coverage as I’d been following the reporter for awhile, and am concerned about the violence going on in PDX.

Little later I got this personal attack which stated ….  ‘his journalism appeals to uneducated people like u who are naive and easily inflamed. I feel bad for you, that you didn’t try harder in school, maybe you’d have better critical faculties … ‘

Well, since this was the first time I’d come across this individual and since ‘he’ didn’t know a thing about me, and thot I was a youth, I felt it was an attack which needed a response. I wasn’t going to cower in fear over a person on the liberal side who doesn’t see the threats on our nation like me.

Anyway, I believe it’s important to be authentic in our comments in public like we are in private. In a comment back I said something like  …. ‘maybe you didn’t realize it but what you said was hurtful. I made a comment re: an issue dear to me as my son was murdered in that city a few years ago. I write a blog about the tragedy and other issues like violence as I care about the violence going on.’

I didn’t expect a note back as I thought he was likely an empty-headed youth who was either very angry or not very educated, but to my surprise he got right back and said, ‘I’m sorry bout that if that was the case …. I wish you well ….. ‘  I was glad he wasn’t this die-hard hateful guy, but shared his honest humanity.

But …. I was still curious and checked him out later on. I saw he only followed ’16’ people and had only ‘5’ followers ….. one follower being to my complete surprise, one of the top Dem. Senators in the U. S.  (I won’t divulge his name.)  I wondered who was behind these comments to me, was this the Senator himself or staffer? The language used was pretty intelligent. I know there’s lot of people using social media to intimidate others, shut down any opposition. Alot of ‘conspiracy’ talk. I know it’s not beneath some in public life to use a phony account, just very eye opening to think this Senator is perhaps instigating or condoning this type of behavior on a public platform.  Pres. Trump texts, maybe this Senator tweets incognito? I’m just glad that there was a real person behind that blistering attack on me.

A couple years back a co-worker befriended me, and when there was a change in ownership she turned cold to me. She was rude to me for no reason, and I was stunned at the change. I had my suspicions as I saw her chummy with the new owner.

Long story short, one day my friend called me aside and told me how wrong she was to be mean to me. She explained how she’d been listening to what ‘another person’ was saying about me and after a month or so she said to herself, ‘Hey, Diane isn’t like that! That’s not how she is, this other woman has it wrong about her.’ She just wanted me to know how sorry she was and to forgive her. I told her it was a big person who could say that, and ‘thanks’!

I think everyone has people in their life who don’t like them or who they’re on different sides of the fence politically with. I believe there’s alot of fear re: Twitter cause people think it’s such a ‘hateful’ platform. I know professionals who are afraid to get an account cause they don’t want the ‘trolls’, the mean, spite filled people but …..  you can avoid them. You follow only who you wish, and you can ‘block’.

I follow certain national political leaders on Twitter and am so very glad for the hard work some do, the way they write books or articles on our national problems. There are ‘kooks’ and ‘hate’ mongers out there but I don’t comment on their threads. I never ‘name call’, pit people against one another …. I don’t want to go back to grade school antics. I want to honor the freedom Marc gave me. But, I won’t sit and take a harsh criticism of me re: something I believe is important. Good, honest people should not just ‘take it’ from ‘trolls’.

Some attackers I imagine are paid, some are rotten and some are really searching. It pays to stay in the game as a conservative. If you truly know who you are and value your beliefs, you can go farther than you ever thought!

Future of

Thank you for your condolences and comments in the last several years, they have been amazing, you have no idea!

This is an UPDATE on what’s going on with my blog and book –

Marc –

It takes enormous effort to write a book so I’ve posted here less frequently of late!

For four years I wrote in this blog about Marc’s murder case. I shared about grief, facing death and going thru a murder investigation. I talked about how it came about that I (and my family) could ‘forgive’ the people who killed our precious Marc. The forgiveness was laced with the deepest pain and anger, but we had to forgive. The crime was a brief misunderstanding in many respects, unintentional …. the defendants were youths in the wrong place at the wrong time …. a real tragedy, for those of you new to the blog.

I don’t foresee closing down MJ or not sharing about the case but I’ve intentionally been writing on certain cultural trends that I feel need to be talked about more openly. I don’t like being increasingly frustrated in my own country and need to bring up a couple things!

I love this country! I love that I can reside in safety and peace in my own home, community and have an avenue where I can say what I want. I have neighbors or co-workers from many cultures whom I love, so I’m not referring to a frustration due to people of color, immigrants. I know people of wealth and people in prison, so I don’t have problems with individuals who’re rich or poor or from different classes of society. I’m a charismatic Lutheran but work with Catholics, I love people of different denominations.  My frustration is due to a shift in the public attitude about life, government

I’m not alone! This past year I set out to research some trends that are going on in politics, pop culture. I joined Twitter and have exchanged opinions with various people on a wide range of topics. I went thru my own collection of books plus bought a ton more on Kindle. I read sources from years ago or current best sellers. It used to be that esteemed intellectuals who warned us about destructive trends in the modern world were accepted as ‘great thinkers’, now they are ignored, and maybe even scorned by today’s ‘thinkers’ or writers. What Orwell, Huxley, C S Lewis and others have told us would happen is now going on …… our personal and corporate freedoms are being eroded. So, I’ll be writing about life in our modern world more frequently.

Few months back a producer from CNN expressed interest in filming the defendant and I in a prison dialogue. While that wasn’t approved by the prison there’s sustained support for Marc’s legacy and ongoing feedback and support from various sources. I’m very grateful for the people this blog has touched and am looking forward to reaching more folks thru the book on Marc’s legacy.

Thank you again for your support on this adventure! And, again ….. please keep reading and commenting.