Future of Marcsjustice.com

Thank you for your condolences and comments in the last several years, they have been amazing, you have no idea!

This is an UPDATE on what’s going on with my blog and book –

Marc –

It takes enormous effort to write a book so I’ve posted here less frequently of late!

For four years I wrote in this blog about Marc’s murder case. I shared about grief, facing death and going thru a murder investigation. I talked about how it came about that I (and my family) could ‘forgive’ the people who killed our precious Marc. The forgiveness was laced with the deepest pain and anger, but we had to forgive. The crime was a brief misunderstanding in many respects, unintentional …. the defendants were youths in the wrong place at the wrong time …. a real tragedy, for those of you new to the blog.

I don’t foresee closing down MJ or not sharing about the case but I’ve intentionally been writing on certain cultural trends that I feel need to be talked about more openly. I don’t like being increasingly frustrated in my own country and need to bring up a couple things!

I love this country! I love that I can reside in safety and peace in my own home, community and have an avenue where I can say what I want. I have neighbors or co-workers from many cultures whom I love, so I’m not referring to a frustration due to people of color, immigrants. I know people of wealth and people in prison, so I don’t have problems with individuals who’re rich or poor or from different classes of society. I’m a charismatic Lutheran but work with Catholics, I love people of different denominations.  My frustration is due to a shift in the public attitude about life, government

I’m not alone! This past year I set out to research some trends that are going on in politics, pop culture. I joined Twitter and have exchanged opinions with various people on a wide range of topics. I went thru my own collection of books plus bought a ton more on Kindle. I read sources from years ago or current best sellers. It used to be that esteemed intellectuals who warned us about destructive trends in the modern world were accepted as ‘great thinkers’, now they are ignored, and maybe even scorned by today’s ‘thinkers’ or writers. What Orwell, Huxley, C S Lewis and others have told us would happen is now going on …… our personal and corporate freedoms are being eroded. So, I’ll be writing about life in our modern world more frequently.

Few months back a producer from CNN expressed interest in filming the defendant and I in a prison dialogue. While that wasn’t approved by the prison there’s sustained support for Marc’s legacy and ongoing feedback and support from various sources. I’m very grateful for the people this blog has touched and am looking forward to reaching more folks thru the book on Marc’s legacy.

Thank you again for your support on this adventure! And, again ….. please keep reading and commenting.

 

 

‘Fake’ News

                      HAPPY  NEW  YEAR!

For centuries it’s been understood that a ‘fake’ is something that pretends to be the real thing! It’s an imitation. The real thing is ‘genuine’, you can sense it is cause it looks or rings true! It registers something deep in our souls.

People on social media or national news sources are even talking about ‘fake news’, but we should always remember to assess objects or ideas on the basis of the true source of their identity, not what they hype (hope) to be.

Marc’s murder was not ‘fake news’, some news out there on the internet isn’t.  I came across this article on Twitter recently about ‘Fake News’.  Erick Erickson writes :

“Let me give you three news headlines.

(A) The Russians were able to use American social media to effectively micro-target enough voters to hand the election to Donald Trump.

(B) The media is intentionally undercounting President Trump’s support among white, working class voters in their polling.

(C) Jesus Christ died on a cross, three days later rose again from the dead, and if you accept him as your Lord and Savior you will have eternal life.

Two of those three headlines are fake news. If you are on the right, you probably believe two of them are true. If you are on the left and a believer, you probably believe two of them are true. But both A and B, commonly held beliefs on opposite sides of the partisan divide, are fake. Only C is true.

But we are all Pontius Pilate now wondering what is truth. There is real truth and Jesus is that truth. As you begin accepting, embracing, and pushing fake news, it begins to break down truth for you. It hurts your ability to share the actual gospel truth with others. And as more and more people are advancing fake news, it makes it harder for people to believe them about anything. 

Jerol Lanier –

Fake news harms the advance of the gospel of Jesus. It harms your ability to relate to others. It harms your ability to know truth.

All of us must now increasingly rely on others, mostly friends, to help us sort out the truth. Unfortunately, conservatives increasingly isolate themselves inside a news bubble because of real and perceived biases by the mainstream media. Liberals isolate themselves inside a social bubble where, even when exposed to truths they do not like, they can easily dismiss them because all their friends tell them it is not true.

People of faith have an obligation to the truth. And we should all tread carefully when loud voices who purport to be with us spread lies. Before you share another story on Twitter or Facebook, please commit to seeking the truth of the story and not just believing it because you saw it on the internet. In fact, be more skeptical of news you see on the internet.

It’s not just Russia that wants you to believe fake news. The Devil does too.”

  –  Erick Erickson

(Erick is a conservative political commentator who was also a ‘never Trumper’)

I’ve been reading books and articles for years by cultural scientists who’ve been commenting on certain perils of modern life.  Authors like Orwell,  Huxley, C S Lewis and others have written about the perils of modern culture that knows no bounds.

Jerol Lanier is a secular guy who speaks and writes about among other things the dangers of social media. He comes from a background based in internet science, philosophy and he share’s how our ‘tech and media’ world is ‘destroying democracy‘.  One of his key assumptions is that social media has helped destroy ‘personal freedom’. He doesn’t shy away from the truth in saying that social media is revenue driven and ‘attention hoarding, triggering in us a fight or flight response’.

Whether it’s ‘fake news’, loss of personal freedom …. we need to be more concerned about the dangers of social media. We need to monitor our kids, our own reliance on social media as this obsession with social media is keeping us in ‘bubble’ worlds that  create a deception about real life.

Was Christmas an Accident?

                     MERRY CHRISTMAS  to my readers !

Most of you know this blog is not about the things I’ve consumed or cooked thru the year.

At certain holidays I need to digress from my usual posts and share about Marc. Yesterday as I started this post I got a call from someone asking if Marc was here? I was so stunned by the timing of the call, just as I was writing of him. It was such a ‘dig’ in my soul to have to explain why he couldn’t come to the phone.

Life is momentarily a ‘downer’ when I have to account for the sudden reminders of Marc being gone. Christmas is just a blaring reminder of his absence. I’m not depressed, but …. I miss him so much! I never knew what total ‘longing’ for someone was like till this! I think I took so much for granted!

Stuffing my sadness inside isn’t where it’s at, I’ve learned. I’m so glad to be a writer so I can get this stuff out on paper privately and then in a blog post. Being among others on this holiday is nice but most of the time they’re laughing, drinking and talking of food, their kids so I value my time alone to cope, write.

I had the most wonderful son, I rejoice in that! And …. one of our legacies is that …. we had a pretty full, normal life even in this modern age where ‘things‘ tend to control people. Where politics can seem overwhelming. I’m so grateful for the love and sanity we shared.

Marc a few years back –

I heard someone share today on TV about how Mary and Joseph lived a normal life even tho they were a divinely chosen couple. Christmas wasn’t an accident. They were matched in lineage and had a destiny and their world, like ours, was in political, spiritual chaos. Still, for the most part, that couple led a quiet, peaceful life and didn’t become enmeshed in the furor around them. They didn’t need to brag at Temple how their son was this brilliant rabbi type guy who’s going to be a King. It’s cool how God deals with people, how He deals with us individually to keep us humble, separate and safe for our ‘purpose’, if we’re willing to stay the course. He’s planned for us thru our genealogy, our culture.

Anyway, I know you’re all really busy but it would really feel great if someone out there would send me a big ‘hug’! I’ve tried so hard this past week to be so strong but I’m really missing Marc. Several people have taken note of my sadness this Christmas but it’s still like having a sore thumb at this time. Marc isn’t a relic of the past! He’s alive to me! But …. he’s not here!

*     *     *     *     *     *

(P.S. –  Thanks for the hugs!)

 

A Worrisome Trend And Answer

I notice trends in our nations food consumption …. you may see trends in cars. I’ve really liked the move towards healthier food, but sadly, many are ignoring their health and growing more obese!

Folk art tapestry in my home with bears dancing with each other, not fighting –

There’s a destructive trend in political reporting on social media too even though the platform was created to bring people together. This trend is making people fear turning on the news or setting up a Twitter account. We see some of this trend on local TV, but it’s out big time on  social media, the national political realm, and certain work environments.

Some national news commentators are using Twitter, cable news programs or entertainment shows to go way beyond the normal bias and simply promote ‘hate’ of certain individuals or groups. These platforms aren’t just a playground for political bashing but a place where people feel free to malign others not only for being an R or Dem but people are slammed for being white, male, Christian/Jew, etc. These extreme voices and sometimes threats attack anyone who has an opinion different from them, be it office holder or infant of an opponent, no one is exempt from being attacked.

I’ve been witnessing a deep suspicion in both the Right and Left in the last few years, and some of it is because of the vitriol voiced by some citizens. It really got to me recently that the manager of a restaurant in D.C. didn’t want to serve the family of a member of the President’s staff. I read they closed the establishment and called someone to see what to do when her family came in, they simply could not ‘accept’ the staff member’s family as normal folks going out for dinner!

I haven’t heard of any Left or antifa type being rejected from a Chick-fil-e or other Right or Christian owned establishment …. I hope they’d be welcome. Someone might even tell them, ‘We’re glad you’re here.’ Or …. ‘God bless you.’ What a difference in approach by some businesses. What a different attitude towards others by some in the political extremes.

There are some conservatives who are abrasive, yes, and openly critical of liberals, the Left. Some of them are so strident it’s hard for me to listen to them but whenever I do I’ve never heard them say, as a policy, to ‘shun’ liberals, threaten Dem families or disturb them in public like some D’s have said to do to R’s. And if they ever would, they should be censored strongly or ejected, after examining the facts.

This extreme attitude is being copied by some in politics, and it’s worth noting because their influence on laws and attitudes filter down to us personally! We may ‘hate’ what the other side has to say about us but we should not treat them as beyond correction, beyond saving. We need reasons to stay in the battle for our country, we can’t be so offended by the un-civility of the ones who want to quiet us down.

America has always allowed strong opinions, but our society is changing too. Technology has allowed us to see the inner greed and confusion in some people, so that people tend not to see the good in D.C.  When some people think D.C. is a ‘swamp’ then they don’t see how they can have any power to help make it right. We can do something about our nations ills. Remember, people can change, be won over but you have to demonstrate some tolerance and willingness to talk in order to make them accept your ideas.

Two sides battle it out, openly with rules –

Sen. Ben Sasse just wrote a book called, ‘Them: Why We Hate Each Other … And How To Heal’, and he has some awesome comments on what’s going on in our country. There’s voices being raised up who stand for strong and just values, we aren’t alone in our desires to want our country to be a safe place for all.

We can pray about how to be used in this arena, and make some changes in our own family life. Marc and I talked about politics often, it was one of our strongest bonds. We shouldn’t relinquish our sanity or security to those who are maligning good values –

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving 2018

                HAPPY  THANKSGIVING!

We have so many things to be grateful for at this time! But ….  some are going thru a tough holiday!

If you’ve lost a loved one or just know there’s something more than coming together for a routine meal every November, be assured you’re not alone! Someone knows your discomfort. Just because we sit down to a sumptuous turkey dinner with people we never met before or are feeling alone with those we’ve known all our lives … all’s not lost.

When Marc was murdered 4 years ago my life came crashing down, and I couldn’t face the holidays well at all! But, it didn’t stay that way.

Today I thought, what if Marc and I never valued our relationship?  What if I kept him all to myself? What if my faith, Christianity, says ‘just leave the dead to themselves’? I would never have discovered the love and healing of so many or written a blog or started a book. There is purpose beyond our pain.

God said to me in these last few years, ‘I won’t let you keep Marc to yourself He belongs not just to me but to the world. Go and forgive the boys! Do my will and I won’t forget what happened and I’ll bless what comes out of his sacrifice.’

You have hurts, issues that nag your heart or mind …. all of us do.

Jesus says in John 16:33, … ‘These things I have spoken to you, that in me you will have peace. In this world there will be tribulation, but …. be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.’

Our hurts & tribulations don’t have to stay inside or go unnoticed. God wants to bring us out to freedom, not bondage to an event or issue. We can forgive those who hurt us, those who caused us harm. We can dare to go ahead and dream beyond a sad event and live a life of joy.

Keep loving, keep trusting God. He’ll help you stay focused in love so you don’t retaliate against others or hurt your own self in some destructive way! God wants us strong, resilient …. not weak to whatever blows we suffer.

It’s human to suffer, in God we overcome –

       Happy Thanksgiving!

UPDATE On Lesser Defendant

Some of you are new to this blog on Marc’s murder case, and other issues.

A recent view of Portland, OR in the morning –

I’ve felt conflicted at times on sharing about the defendants! Here it is, four years after the murder incident and I’m still in touch with the two young men. Believe me, it took me many months and a lot of anxiety assessing who they were, what their motives were. I never dreamed I’d actually ‘like’ them once it got past ‘I forgive you’ stage. For a couple years it was hard to understand my feelings of trust in them when I really felt this huge longing for Marc to come back!

As a parent, educator and Christian it’s sorta a no-brainer to like some people. When folks accept and respect you it enables you to establish a trust …. it’s always been that way with the boys.  After pouring their hearts out in tears or words of remorse, I found at least a solid reason why forgiving them was such a god-send for we three and those reading this blog. It just opened the door for healing on a level I never knew existed between people.

Recently the lesser defendant, Wesley, contacted me again after a silence of about 6 months! Whew, it was like we picked up where we left off! I’d been feeling kinda dejected re: him and wondered if we’d ever talk again? With his life on the fringe of society so much is at stake for him. I used to fear that maybe one of the Detectives in Marc’s case would call me with news Wesley had passed too! I knew that crime in the Portland homeless community was so pervasive and perhaps Wesley was a serious victim of it.

But something inside didn’t feel that was the legacy that was due Marc, or his case! I’ve written in the past how I believed God had a better outcome from the tragedy! That the forgiveness would continue to bear fruit!

Portland souvenir in gift shop recently –

The last time we spoke he was sobbing over the phone and just needing someone to help him. I didn’t see at the time how he could take anymore? He recently told me he moved from Portland, and is ‘safe and sound’. But …. he’s needing to connect again.

I know people driving past him may think he’s a loser but he’s a person with meaning. I’ve found out thru getting to know him he’s a ‘people’ person, he loves family but is estranged due to the murder. He’s not into political conspiracies or sympathetic to the Antifa mind-set …. I’ve asked his opinions on current events. He’s not this angry young man but someone I call ‘stuck’. It’s good he’s not getting stoned or begging or stealing for some drug habit, that would likely be the end of any hope for him.

I think he spends most days hanging out at malls to keep warm during the winter. He seeks whatever friends he can find who are good to him. He’s not mentally ill where he can’t fit in with society or make trusting friendships. Just amazing the incredibly hard and lonely lives some people have. Marc’s case has opened my eyes to so much more suffering going on in this world, but I’ve seen people rise above!

I asked him on his birthday the other day if he still prays and he said he does! I’ll continue praying for him that God watches over him and brings him to the people who will lead him to the hope he needs!

Miracles do happen!

 

I’m Realistically Biased But Objective

Try as I may to be objective, there are some people I can’t suffer! Yes, I’m biased! I have to be biased if I want to keep my sanity, my soul safe!

Suffering some fruit and not others –

I’m not so concerned about a persons politics, money or race as much as I find it important to be around people who are making an effort to be informed truth tellers.  And I’ve really found that people who have folks in their lives they truly love and cherish are the people I respect the most. It’s just important to me to respect a person for who he or she is rather than if they think like I do.

I can’t bear insufferable complainers, manipulators …. and blamers are a huge pet peeve. I try to be tolerant of people who blame others for their problems but I can barely remember what they say. Their arguments are lost on me. I also have a hard time suffering narcissists, folks who see the world from their viewpoint only and can’t stand independent thinkers.

I’m careful who I’m on FB with, and who I follow on Twitter. I don’t follow many or have huge followers on purpose. FB is the side of life to me that’s more touchy-feely, and I need it to keep up with family and friends or share a prayer need. I can take my friends anger, boasting or whining if I know them personally and know how hard they are trying to get their life under control.

Twitter is the serious side of life. It’s important to me as I travel my path on this earth to interact with others  who value life and who share their minds and hearts about the challenges and joys we all go thru. I have to be biased like this. I like to be challenged by the views and emotions of other Christians, professors, pastors, writers or politicians. I constantly need to refresh my facts so I can be as objective as possible in assessing an issue.  If I don’t grow and learn to love others for their constructive views on a myriad of subjects or their good efforts to make a difference then I may as well fold it up and ask God to take me to heaven to be with Marc.

I can’t suffer some things in myself that creep in at times. I’ve had to evaluate myself like I’m using a scalpel in surgery, so I weed out things that are choking my joy and freedom. Sometimes it’s as easy as cutting out a stupid habit, or refusing to accept lazy thinking.

Being open and objective with others requires us to see beyond the deception of this culture …. to read between the lines of many statements out there. There’s also glamour and power tugging at our subconscious that we have to admit colors our objectivity.

No one can escape being biased to a degree but it helps so much to be honest about our biases –

3 Things To Think About When Voting

The roster of candidates in any state isn’t always so nice and easy to understand at election time, but here’s some tips in casting your vote:

  1.  Hold the people you want to vote for to high expectations!  What is your  measuring rod for holding office? Think about what’s best for the whole country considering the internal and external threats going on around us? Listen to how the candidates ran their previous business, public office. They may not be perfect but are they people of personal integrity?

2.  Remember what the Bible says, ‘Judge a man according to his deeds, not his words.’ Now more than ever candidates are making wild statements. They lack an understanding of what’s going on in our country and what’s needed, and they can’t even manage their personal lives. Ask yourself, are they running to ‘self-promote’ or bring ‘hope’ to others? There’s many out there saying they want to ‘make a difference’ but behind their words is the desire for financial gain, lust for power or they want to re-make our country into their own model of alternative democracy. There really are poor candidates out there! Take notice!

3. Last but not least …. PRAY! Praying is powerful, it’s not just a token suggestion. God listens to our hearts and can intervene and guide us to the right info on each candidate or proposition, so that our votes count. Pray for a peaceful election outcome and for strength and wisdom for our country during these challenging times.

I’m so glad I had a son I could share our political heritage as a country with. It’s such a stabling force in ones life! I would not be who I am without this country! Neither would you!

30 Take Aways from the BK/Ford Hearing

For something so impromptu, so strange in some ways … the hearing sure made an impact on us!

Former Portland, OR Courthouse –

  1.  It was a ‘watershed‘ moment for our country.
  2.  The hearing showed us how the R’s & D’s manage a serious issue in person, who they tend to trust and how they judge the sexes.
  3. It says alot that the R’s gave credence to the ‘accuser’ but the D’s assumed BK was guilty.
  4.  I don’t believe every woman, I don’t believe every man on the basis of what they say happened. Other things like their personal life, motives need to corroborate their claims.
  5. The supposed ‘attack’ that was the focus of the hearing took place when they were minors!
  6.  I heard CF say she was scared her parents would find out she was drinking at a party when parents not home. So at age 15 she was drinking. Did she consume alcohol before or during the BK party?
  7.  What were the activities at the party …. dancing, swimming …. any activity with BK before the alleged attack?
  8.  Did anyone ever ‘vet’ the Dr. before allowing her to disturb our nations Congressional process?
  9. The most powerful tool we have as humans in getting over a real or perceived wrong done to us is to ‘forgive’. This doesn’t mean we forget, but we don’t let abuse determine our happiness.
  10. The hearing should not have been handled like a crime had been committed, it was not a trial or criminal proceeding, but an inquiry.
  11. It should not have been aired in public, but held privately. This hearing was created by a ‘leaker’.
  12. The risk for slander, libel was not figured in this public display.
  13.  There were so many conflicts that arose during the hearing, the unexpected was always happening. Most hearings, trials are more orderly, predictable.
  14.  The ‘prosecution’ was not ready for a loving father and devoted husband and son, or someone with a long history of decency in his community and on the bench.
  15.  The oft repeated reference to ‘hypothalamus’ was used to emotionally intimidate, like ‘proof’ she was accosted.
  16.  Too many in the media jumped to the conclusion he was ‘guilty before proven’ at the drop of a hat, which showed the public their true stripes.
  17.  CF’s side should have thot of the mid-term elections coming.
  18.  CF should have had her husband, children by her side to lend credence to her character, allegations!
  19.  I think the word ‘hypothalamus’ should be disallowed in court for at least 10 years.
  20.  What was CF’s motive for going to the party (someone invite her, she liked a boy, she liked to drink away from home)? Wish she’d been asked things like that so we could have established her motives, credibility. BK shared his motives, lifestyle.
  21.  All races, ages, professions, the sexes & foreign countries noticed how our government handled this sensitive matter!
  22.  Making an ‘un-vetted’ accuser a ‘hero’ at the expense of a man already vetted by the FBI several times … not smart!
  23.  Many husbands and wives have committed sexual errors and gotten stronger thru forgiveness.
  24.  It was more like the Senate Judiciary Committee was acting as a therapist.
  25.  Woman to woman ….. CF’s vocal ‘fry’ was not caused by one failed attack but a general disconnect somewhere. I was so puzzled by her vocal/emotional manner. Forensic body language experts report her making ‘pretty poses’, or defiant poses all the time thru questioning. She tried to manipulate thru ’emotional’ expressions, not facts, like a child does.
  26.  Seeking revenge ‘no matter what’ never heals trauma, it’s a cancer like jealousy. To heal you deal with the abuse, your own needs and you don’t seek to destroy another in public and expect that by exposing him/her you will be healed. Exposing someone in public is ‘getting even’.
  27. It’s hypocritical for some in our society to laud teen party movies & then turn & attack someone for doing what you say is okay!
  28.  Many Vets, crime victims go on after PTSD to have good lives.
  29.  Mr. Kavanaugh displayed his humanity, his loves, his record and his frailties … Dr. Ford needed to do that.
  30.  Treating any esteemed leader like a common criminal will not be easily forgotten!

To sum up in another’s words :

‘Why are we forced to deal with the possibility that something even happened to Dr. Ford …. even if something did happen to her, destroying a good man’s reputation and derailing the entire country is NOT the way to go about dealing with her problem.’    Young Democrats for Trump  on  Twitter

 

 

Stopping Mass School Shootings

Over the summer it was a blessing to be free of news of serious school shootings, but recently one of our ‘sister’ schools, a high school, was on lock down due to a bomb threat called into ‘911’, and this was a church school! It’s never too early to talk about this epidemic of school shootings.

Sign on Third Ave, Portland – D.D.

I follow on Twitter some agrieved families in Parkland, FL area who are carrying their love for their lost ones kinda like me. The rampage that affected their school 8 months ago has changed so many lives in that community for years. It’s important to me to hear from other families suffering from the loss of a child, brother. Very few understand our kind of pain. It helps me to read of their continual efforts to assuage their anger and loss, and make that school system and local government more accountable!

It bothered me alot last school year that we didn’t hear much from any source about school safety! There’s lots on ‘preventing’ Identity theft, legalizing marijuana, why isn’t more said publicly about guarding the perimeter, gates of a school, checking for weapons or I.D.? After the shooting in South Houston area right before June Graduation, I kept wondering …. why weren’t the school gates kept locked? Who was in charge of monitoring it, I.D.ing people? People failed the kids. Just a tragic repetition of neglect, laziness or something. I thought most schools have security by now, but I’m wrong.

Protecting school children doesn’t have to be so complicated. Some school systems don’t have the money for fancy security but they don’t have to go unsafe. Letting Vets, grandparents who want to help have a part in the safety of our children is a valid option. Having better school entry rules can be an easy solution. But ….. too many think a shooting will never happen to them, they want an ‘open’ door policy and don’t want to ‘pester’ the authorities. Why not more school forums, police town halls on this epidemic? It’s a mixed scenario, and an un-glamorous job but there has to be a combined strategy so parents as well as school leaders are on the same page.

Who’s directions are we following?

I’m not a Police officer but a mother and educator. Having gone thru the murder of my son I researched the epidemic of youth crime and I’d be remiss if I didn’t share ideas about prevention I’ve learned. Also, I attended a seminar recently held by Officer Sean Dinse of the Los Angeles Police Dept. Topanga Div. where he shared his program to combat school shootings.

My own thoughts …. think about it …. do you hear of a homeless person coming onto a campus to shoot or stab students? Or a man angry with his boss? Or jealous husbands shooting school kids? Mass school shooters are almost entirely youth who have some gripe with a teacher or student. There are patterns if you will, to any crime trend says another former L.A. Detective.

School shooters are ‘teens’, and they go onto a campus they know well ….. where they have friends or perceived enemies or romantic illusions. They seek entry to a site where they are not strangers ….. they know where key classrooms are, lockers, offices or cafeteria. They aren’t considered a threat in some cases, they know which class is meeting at what time of day and where people will be …. who their victims will be and they can generally find them.

Officer Dinse shared a new tactic at his seminar …. for some reason a couple local high schools averted possible trouble from some teenagers because a few parents looked at the Facebook pages of the students in their kids schools. ‘Bingo’ …. some deeply troubled, threatening kids were discovered and their parents contacted and the teens got help.

Teens live with intense hormones churning inside, huge dreams and needs that have to be addressed somehow. Many youth will fantasize or brag on social media about weapons, the desire to commit dark deeds or hatred of some group. The FBI are not therapists, or the agency that comes up with plans for school violence prevention. We can’t expect the police to comb thru students FB pages, but an involved group of moms and/or school officials can do some homework and expose potential troublemakers.

High Schools or parent groups can go over students FB pages in a few hours, just to get some idea of the general mind-set of each child? There are Yearbooks, other rosters that show school enrollment. Some troubled kids don’t think their parents read their FB posts or even care. What’s on FB is ‘public’ so anyone can view. And the potential offender ‘loves/needs’ to brag, flaunt or threaten his various classmates, enemies …. he doesn’t separate reality that well many times. On social media a teen is in a sense talking out loud or taking an ad out in the paper and advertising his identity to the world. A teen without friends, or one who concentrates on weapons or anger over his life goals, is someone who’s getting lost or who needs intervention.

Social Media is our new ‘neighborhood block party’. It may be a good idea anyway to go over the FB page of your child’s friends, or the guy who’s dating your daughter. When I was on an adult Christian dating site last year I was sickened by the number of weirdos who tried to contact me, or who were removed? Sick people have always found ways to show the world a ‘nice’ face, but kids aren’t always aware of deceptive tactics.

A caring parent or counselor can talk with the parents of a teen and help that family unit to deal with the child. Many kids need more parental supervision in order to turn their thoughts and rhetoric around. Some teens will definitely stop ranting about people, some will get help and some will commit a crime  …. elsewhere, not in a school setting.

None of us should live in ignorance about the growing trend of youth mass shooters. It’s a hard topic to bring up to some but simple policies can be set in motion to save lives. There’s Federal grant money available for those who wish to work on the school safety issue. It doesn’t take many people to make a difference in any school, only a few can turn a school around if they know what to do. A couple strong parents, teachers, retired police or military would be good resource people in your community to coordinate some of this responsibility. Parents are so much more powerful than they think!

I always think that taking responsibility for your life primarily lies in your own hands first, it’s not others responsibility to watch out for you, unless you’re a little child. It seems to me that to wait for State or Federal govt to make laws may take months or years to implement, and some laws may be too costly or not needed if parents and concerned schools do their homework to make their schools safe. There’s many times a ‘code of silence’ around teens and their parents but this is not the time to keep those walls up but take them down with a sense of urgency and education in  classes, at home.

Love after death can do amazing things!